"Man, I feel so low, I can't take no more- come and lift me up, come lift me higher"
Those are the lyrics to a song I like to listen to.
The lyricist of this song often writes about his insecurities, weaknesses, and his doubts. I like it because it's very real.
We all know that we all experience these things, but knowing that it's a universal condition doesn't make experiencing it any better.
There's another piece of that song in which the singer is voicing his frustration, and he says:
"Prayers unanswered and God won't speak."
It feels like that a lot, doesn't it?
David felt that way, Elijah felt that way.
Abandoned, lost.....wanting to know what was coming next. I don't blame them for feeling that way. I feel that way all too often.
I am looking for work. I prayed and prayed about the work I'm looking for, and after God provided a good friend to give me counsel, I found an opportunity to pursue. I applied for the job, and....waited.
Today I found that I did not get chosen for that position.
My initial reaction? Frustration. My current reaction? Awkward peace.
I believe and know that God leads me where He wants me to go.
But it would be nice to feel like I didn't have a blindfold on half of the time.
Though, I think if I were told exactly what to do and when to do it, I would absolutely despise that situation.
"I know that I'm alive by what you place into my hands."
My feelings of general stress related to all of this are likely compounded by the economy, major life changes, existential crisis, and the list goes on and on.
I'm not very old, but I feel like perhaps all of these excuses for why I'm not trusting God the way I should only get replaced by different excuses-
-Because a life that is not dependent on God is like hiring the pizza delivery guy to rewire your house.
We are terrible at taking care of ourselves.
Good thing God is not.
-D.B.
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