I don't need a surge protector.

I'm incredibly tired.

Probably because I woke up once each hour during the night.

When I feel like this, it's easy to justify my lack of direction, focus, and purpose. Quite honestly, writing this is another way to distract myself from being proactive.

I've been thinking about desiring God lately, and I've come to find that it's extremely difficult.

Please don't think that I mean that it's difficult to love God, or that there isn't a reason (or many) to love Him. It's just that our society has done a great job of paralyzing our spirits. We've created a ton of really cool things to entertain us.

In fact, right now I'm thinking about the TV show I'll probably watch later on.

Is it important? Is it useful. Not really.

A couple weeks ago I realized that I am addicted to entertainment. The majority of the time it's a waste of that time. But we've latched onto it so much that I sometimes forget that God's word, God's Spirit, and the business of Heaven are so much more inviting.

Lately I've been reading Isaiah and Jeremiah.

It has been captivating.

Reading those books, you can hear the voice of God, in all range of emotions. First you hear Him outraged, shocked at the betrayal of the people He loves. You hear his frustration as His people have the audacity to doubt His power.

But my favorite is when you can hear his love. He has been betrayed, doubted, forgotten, and cheated on, yet his love hasn't shrunk back.

If anything it surges, desiring to take back what is His.

God's love surges to take us back.

I am not a good person, and I often waste my time. I struggle and wrestle with how to be proactive with the gifts God has given me.

I sometimes don't even know if the good I think I'm doing is good at all.

Yet God's love surges to take me back.

-D.B.

A big hairy mess

So lately I've been struggling with evidences, paradoxes, and similar types tings related to faith.

Perhaps it's because I've been reading scientific type books, or there has been so much controversy in the news as of late. Who knows.

I recently re-read "Velvet Elvis" by Rob Bell. I enjoy his writing style, and something he mentioned in his book is that some people have to have a faith bigger than the evidence, bigger than what other people say.

It's made a big difference for me in the way I see the world. All of a sudden, God can take first place in my life. It doesn't mean that I'm no longer selfish, or occasionally self-serving- it just means that I realize that God is above all of the things we argue about.

For example. I had a conversation today with a friend about the legal issues in the United States. During that conversation I realized that we need to be loving other people and united on those things, and allow God to judge the things we all can't work out.

I can't sort out what's right; I'm not wise enough and the facts are too confounding, confusing and alternating between idealism, harsh reality, and hope.

So I've come to the conclusion that accepting God as infinitely wiser than myself is a better solution than trying to figure out something that I'll likely never have a solid solution to.

God is great, greater than all of this political mess.

Have you ever seen heat lightning?


Bursts of light and power silently exploding in the warm summer sky.

It's breathtaking, and it reminds me that God is here, that He gave us this place- that He can take it all away in an instant, but that he graciously allows us to live in and alter this place.


So if God can do that, then I guess he can sort out all of the world's confusion. We can just take care of people, show love and bring joy to the less fortunate. To bring justice to the world- not the justice that we think of as people getting retribution for their crimes, but the justice of people without friends being befriended, those who starve eating, and the unfortunate being shown fortune.

And I'm not there yet. I'm far too selfish.


But I want to be there. Let's pray that we can be more loving, more holy, and more like the people God created us to be.